standing behind a ____ (glass/ paper/ rubber) window here, i am standing and i see myself, my sad eyes in this reflection
i have a need as big as the ocean, and nothing can fill it, not today its overwhelming my senses,
gyrating me into a tiny ceramic ball of nerves and unorganized productivity
insomnia has taken over my nights and i lie twisted in my own regrets about a so-called healthy pathway. i used to care so much, but now i just exist. the little dramas don’t even matter as much as they used to.. beautiful pathway of light, enlighten me.
why can’t i feel anymore? why can’t i cry over all this pain? my hands wring, my shoulders shake but i cannot weep.. i cannot exist except to simply be here. the scariest place is one of deadly indifference, i stand here and watch my candle slowly fading out. i cannot change it. it simply is. days of sweat and endless parade of smiling faces, digging for gold among the dirt, i rend and tear my own gloves.each promise of a new spring, cracks under the first strain of routine living. i bend my knees back under the strain of hard labor and plunge onward. all these words they comfort not.. they are simply here, b/ i must write something. as i stand here, behind my see-thru window and watch the world go by. i cannot feel its heartbeat against my cheek anymore.
~words to clarify a dark mood, a painful passing of another slow dull day…
